Like a lot of others, as this year comes to an end, I am reflecting.

Reflecting on the past year. The choices made. The changes that need to be made in the coming year.

There is always room to grow. Room for improvement. We have never “arrived”. We have to keep growing in our spiritual walk..and keep striving to be better than we were the day before. Not for ourselves, but so that our walk matches our talk.

I began making a list of “goals”. Not “New Year’s Resolutions”, but GOALS. Yes, I know that they are just about the same thing. But, not really. New Year’s resolutions are made and everybody has in the back of their head..“I’ll never fulfill this one.” Goals are more serious in my opinion. Goals are necessary.

My list looks something like this:

Budget/Household Goals:

~ Create a budget

~ Pray over the “budget”…for obedience and determination to stick to it.

~ Work towards buying mostly necessities. (truth is, a lot of money is wasted on “wants” )

~ Make a plan to take each room of our home, and eliminate clutter. 

 Physical Goals:

~ Eat healthier

~ Continue to work out 4-5 days a week

~ Try to cut down on sweets and breads, and eat cleaner.

Spiritual Goals:

~ Finish reading and studying the entire Bible..I am currently in Matthew 3. (Genesis to Revelations plan)

~ Begin to read the entire Bible again..using my new Chronological Bible.

~ Trust HIM more fully.

~ Be a better leader.

~ Establish a family devotional time and stick to it.

~ Be a better encourager to my husband.

These are just some of my “goals”. .

The most important goal is this:

John 3:30 (NLT) ~ He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.

That is what it all boils down to. God HAS to be first. HE has to be the center of everything. HIS will HAS to be of most importance in my life. I HAVE to get in the passenger seat. I MUST let HIM drive. TRUSTING HIM FULLY. Even when life isn’t what I planned. Even when times seem tough. TRUST HIM.

Until Next YEAR ,

We stood outside. Taking pictures with our cell phones before we went in to eat at the busy restaurant. Out of the corner of our eyes, we saw him. Long, scruffy looking beard. Hat on and carrying some plastic bags. Talking to random people in the parking lot. We assumed he just wanted money. We headed on inside. Pshh..none of us had any extra money..

Then, I looked out of the glass door and saw what he had in his hand. He was selling handmade crosses. Immediately I stood up and said: “I have to go out there. I have to take him this money and buy a cross.”

There’s more to it than that..

About 2 years earlier, my husband met a man who wandered around making these same crosses. He met him at our local flea market. He sat down, struck up a conversation with this man and heard a man witness about Jesus.

So, I just thought that maybe this was the same man. Had to be. So, that is what drew me to him. Or, I should say..That is what GOD used to draw me to him.

I walked straight up to him. Looked him in the eye and told him that I wanted to buy one of his crosses. He looked at me, kind of shocked and said: “Well, ok..if you want one then I’m gonna make you one.”

We sat down opposite of each other on these concrete benches. We began what turned into a 20-30 minute conversation. He shared some about himself. I asked him where he was from. He shared about his family, a momma that had just died. He said: “Mommy died.” I didn’t make him tell me these things. He just needed someone to talk to.

I was still curious as to if he was the same man who my husband had met. He had to be. So I asked him if he had worked the flea market. His reply: “No, there’s no money there.”

Okay…. Alright God, evidently You made me come out here to talk to this man. AND, You made me feel comfortable first! Wow.

So, the rest of the crew had joined me by now. They listened as we talked. There were lots of people sitting outside. I’m sure they were watching and listening. Honestly, I didn’t even notice anyone else. For those few minutes, it was just us and that lonely man..talking. Talking about God, this man’s life, and some more about God. I asked him if he had a relationship with Jesus. He said he was saved at age 11. I believe him.

I asked him to tell me the story behind the crosses. He shared a little, and then said that he already knew that I was a believer. He asked me if I knew how he knew..to which I just looked in his eyes and said..“well, it’s like with you..I looked in your eyes..they told your story and then I saw it in your actions..” he just shook his head “YES”.

I offered him my Bible..I had one in the car. No matter how many times I offered, he refused it. He said he couldn’t see it good..he needed reading glasses. I offered to get him some from Dollar Tree.. he said that he had plenty of money.. See, this man was NOT asking for money.

Man, CONVICTED. As soon as we walked inside earlier, God had convicted me of turning away & I praise HIM for the fact that HE made me go back outside and seek this man. This man who could have been dangerous. We didn’t know. We were doing what most women SHOULD do when they are alone. Avoiding possible danger. BUT, see..God convicted me and then, God used something that would make me feel safe to get me back out there. He used a cross made of palms and cedar…A symbol of HIMSELF. HOW AWESOME IS OUR GOD??!!

When he finished with the cross,I asked him if I could pray with and for him. He just smiled and said: “SURE, as long as you let me pray for you when you get done.” Talk about blessed! I began to pray, the kids there with us..and he said, “HANDS! Hands!” So, we all sat there, holding hands with this man and praying. I prayed and then he prayed. People all around. Maybe, just maybe..more than one life was changed that night.

We learned to never judge a book by its rough draft or cover. We received the blessings from being obedient and just getting up and going when God says to GO!

Was that man put there that night for us to learn from him? Were we put there that night to be a blessing to our new friend? Were we (myself, and those with me and our new friend) put there that night to be a witness to those that were watching? Because, trust me..they HAD to be looking and listening..and wondering if I was completely nuts.

I honestly don’t know the answer. I’m okay with that.I left that place a better person for having met Butch.

He just so happened to wait for us to eat so that he could tell me another piece of info about the moment that he got saved. He said that when he went down to that altar, that his “Mommy” screamed so loud. He said that he had never heard her scream..because his Daddy wouldn’t allow it. We told him goodbye..He asked us to keep praying for him. He wanted to stay on the right track. I promised him that I would hang that cross in my house and pray for him by name every time I saw it. He was completely shocked that I remembered his name. For those of you who know me well..you are probably shocked too!

All I know for sure is that God used something that he knew would make me feel safe and HE got my behind up and out of that door. I may never know the why..but I do know that all of us were impacted by it. Just remember that when you obey God and just GO, there will be blessings for all involved.

He said that the Bible was in his heart. I still pray he gets a copy that will fit in his pocket so he can pull it out and just soak in God’s Word. Here is the one verse that Butch quoted for me..

Isaiah 1:18 ~ “Come now let us reason together,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”

Forever Changed,

P.S. I know for a fact that he wasn’t the same man.. I took video of part of our conversation so that I could share it with my husband later..He confirmed that it was NOT the same man.

The cross on the left is the one that our new friend made.. The cross on the right is the one that Spencer brought home from his new friend..

I’m back!!!!! As I was walking this morning through my neighborhood, I knew that I was supposed to share something today. I told you in my last post that I felt the nudge to be more TRANSPARENT and VULNERABLE with you all. So, here I am..and I hope this post blesses you.

There is a part of me that still struggles with insecurity at times. Thank goodness, it is nothing like before. BUT, every now and then..I listen to the negative voice instead of the voice of my Father God. That is backwards my friends..I should be able to hear God better than the enemy.

For many years, I struggled with feeling like I fit in. If you have known me a long time, you may not even know that about me. Why? Because, I hid it. Or, I tried to hide it.

Even up until a little over 2 years ago, the thought of going to a function with my husband (you know, the ones that you have to mingle and actually “talk” to people at) would make me sick to my stomach.

Those who didn’t know me well may have thought I was a snob. Why? Because, I don’t hide my feelings well. I am sure I looked miserable.  I just felt like I wasn’t good enough..and why in the world would they want to talk to me?

It was a MISERABLE place to be in…feeling “out of place”. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t feel comfortable like everybody else.

Then…it hit me…THEY MAY NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE EITHER. Or, maybe they do.

I was so shy, that even speaking to people as I walked past, was nearly impossible. Most of the time, I would just look down or away. Appearing..snobbish. Not at all who I really am.

Guess what?

After coming to CrossPointe Valdosta, I began to grow so much in my relationship with God. I came to the realization that I had only scratched the surface of the relationship I could have with my Savior. I had been lukewarm. Saved at a very young age…baptized at age 18…serving…teaching…but still, just lukewarm.

Praise Jesus! God wooed me to Himself. I fell in love with my Savior. I began to grow and God began to change me. I realized that I had never fully surrendered to HIM. I had been living a life of trying to be good and follow all the “rules”. I realized through teaching and preaching at CrossPointe, what a REAL relationship with Christ Jesus is! I went from lukewarm to ON FIRE for God! Surrendered and filled with Jesus!

I have a desire to speak to EVERYBODY now! I LOVE meeting new people now! I no longer dread “get-togethers”! I LOVE them! The only explanation is GOD!

2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV) ~ For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

God is LOVE. I now can truly say that it is GOD that is loving on people through me. It is God that is making me lift my hand and smile and wave or speak to strangers! In fact, the other morning as I was taking my girls to school, I waved at a car that was driving by. My daughter said: “Momma, who was that?” My reply:”I don’t know baby..I just felt like waving and being nice.” It happens ALOT.

1 John 4:16 ~ And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.

Listen, I still get called to get out of my comfort zone. In fact, at our women’s retreat, I was asked to be in charge of the Icebreakers. No problem..and then on the day of, I find out that I had to get on stage with a MICROPHONE to explain them, etc.. YIKES! That old voice of insecurity popped up…“Who do you think you are doing that? You can’t do that..That’s not you..” Guess what I did?! I told that voice (which, by the way, IS the enemy) to GET THEE BEHIND ME & Be quiet!

You know what? I loved every single minute up on that stage! It was a blast! If I had not stepped out of my comfort zone then I would have never known how much fun it could be!

There are other times when that voice of insecurity pops up. Yes, sometimes I do listen to it. Then, through His merciful ways, He reminds me that I am HIS and that through Him I have overcome. I’m not who I once was…and by HIS mercy and grace I am moving daily in the direction He wants me to be. It is a conscious choice..a daily battle that we are in. To stand firm in GOD and keep moving forward. Persevering. Growing. Changing. Like a caterpillar..a Beautiful Metamorphosis.

I am so very thankful for the real relationship I now have with my Savior. My Jesus. My Heavenly Father and Best Friend. It IS REAL and if you feel loved by me..just know that it is God loving you through me.

I have to ask, Do you know my Jesus? Do you need to train yourself to listen to God’s voice,  instead of the enemy’s voice that speaks insecurity and negativity?

I promise to continue to “BE REAL” with you all. Share with you again real soon! Blessings!

UNTIL NEXT TIME,

There’s just something about sharing the deepest parts of yourself with others. The ugly parts that God has turned into something beautiful. It’s a vulnerable place to be in. An out of your comfort zone place. Yet, it’s a place that God is glorified in.

I am reminded in Acts 22…when Paul asks to speak to the crowd that was accusing him and beating him, of how he used those moments to be honest and vulnerable and give his testimony. He didn’t get up and say, “I am perfect and that’s why you shouldn’t throw me in jail.” NO…Paul told of who he was before he knew Christ as his personal Savior and then he told of his transformation after coming to know God. He was transparent. He was vulnerable. He was unashamed.

How willing are we…as followers of Jesus…to be transparent?

Why is it so hard to just “be real” ?

We are called to “BE REAL” friends. We are called to LOVE. We are called to forgive. AND….we are called to be transparent…honest…to bring God glory.

Matthew 6:15 (NIV) ~ But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Luke 17:4 (NIV) ~ If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, “I repent,’ forgive him.”

John 13:34 (NIV) ~ “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

1 John 1:8 (NIV) ~ If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

Why is it so scary to be “transparent” ? Well, one reason, is the fear of being judged by others. Let’s be real…we all fear that at some point or another.

If our transparency brings healing and hope to just ONE person, then it is worth it. When we let God use the mess that we made of things and turn it into HIS message, then who cares what others may think! That, my friends, is being obedient and transparent.

I’ll be completely honest with you. I don’t always WANT to be transparent. It is a lot easier to put a “smile” on my face and pretend things away. That doesn’t bring God glory though. I have to be willing to be obedient in sharing my testimony…when HE wants me to. Same goes for each of you.

Truth is, everybody has garbage. Everybody has made mistakes. It is what we choose to do with the mess or garbage that makes the difference.

So, I leave you with these questions.

Is there something that God has asked you to share with someone…and you haven’t yet because of fear of being judged?

Do you believe that God can turn your MESS into HIS Message?

First, I would advise you to pray diligently over it. Pray for wisdom and discernment. Be sure that your testimony points to God. That it only brings glory to God. Then, write it out. It is always changing…as it should be. Finally, pray some more and if you feel that nudge from God..GO FOR IT! Let Him be glorified!

I will be sharing portions of my testimony as I feel led, in the days to come. Why? Because, I know God wants me to. Because, I have been feeling the nudge to be even “more real” than I already am with you all.

Share more with you soon! Very soon..

Here is a link to listen to Mandisa’s song..What If We Were Real?

ENJOY!

02_what_if_we_were_real___

UNTIL NEXT TIME,