When I fail. I’m tempted to run. To run back to the comfortable. The easy. To just stop and give up. To just say that I’m done.
Worn out. Desperate. Tired.
I want an escape. To get out. Away. To be still and to run at the same time.
Time. It’s what I need. Time to think. Time to hear my God. To hear Him speak.
It’s what I need. Yet, during those rough patches I am so tempted to just be the opposite of who God has called me to be.
{ This was a post that I wrote in 2015. A poem of sorts. That’s something I love. Poetry. It’s raw. Doesn’t have to be perfect. Allows me to be me. Real. Transparent. Unashamed.}
It’s easy to serve the ones that touch our hearts. But what about the ones that break our hearts?
Would you wash the feet of the person that had betrayed you?
The person that had just taken 30 pieces of silver to point you out to the people who were going to beat you, ridicule you, make you carry your cross up that hill and then hang you with nails through your body while you were still breathing?
Would you?
It would take all of the strength of my Savior to even think about it.. and even then I’d wonder if I was even able to think about it… were I doing it for show or out of love. I need Jesus daily.
I’m so humbled by his love for me and for you. I only regret that I don’t remember this every second of every day.
May I remember. Always.
“Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God.”
Another version says “Cast all your anxieties on him..”
When you cast a fishing line into the water it’s an act of letting go. You are releasing that line and bait to fall into the water. If you don’t release it then there’s no chance of a fish on the end of your pole.
When you leave something precious or dear to your heart with someone, you are trusting that they will take care of that possession/person for you.
Anxieties and worries are normally in relation to things that are near and dear to us.
He cares for us. You. Me.
How will we ever grow if we don’t let go?
Letting go and releasing burdens that we think we have to carry feels a little scary at first. Those are ours. That’s my burden. Mine. I hold on to what is mine.
But he says to let go. Leave your worries with him. Because he cares. Truly cares. He will carry them for us. If we just let them go, cast them away, and leave them with Him.
Such a complex process. But so freeing to release those things that aren’t in our control to begin with.
It’s ok to leave the worries with him. He cares. The way HE cares is like no other. Doesn’t compare with the way we “care”.
He is constant, unchanging, unwavering, dependable, good, love, and forgiving. He is all powerful, all knowing, and our constant companion. Our redeemer, defender, deliverer, counselor, Mighty God, and truest friend.
What do you need to let go of? You can trust Him. Because HE cares.
For many years I have prayed, contemplated, and waited each “beginning” of each year for MY WORD. The word He wants me to focus on in order to be in His will. His will is the only place that I ever feel peace.
This last year I’ve grown, changed, and learned. I have discovered things and pondered things. Life is always changing. That’s the only thing other than salvation that’s guaranteed on this side of heaven.
I truly believe that through my Pastor’s message this morning that I felt clearly the word I need to focus on.
HOPE – I need to believe that the BEST is yet to come.
I need to let the things GO that I’m allowing to make me bitter. Bitter or Better. It’s a choice.
I need to remember that all of my life has led up to this point. Everything I’ve learned, discovered, been through will help me where I’m going. As long as I’m where I’m supposed to be.
Hope.
One Word.
Multiple ways to describe it.
Hope. Anticipation. Belief.
Faith is necessary.
I must believe that the best is yet to come.
This one word…. HOPE, it forces me to let go of the hurts and fears and bitterness and look forward to the BEST.
You see, the WORD of God never fails. It never will fail. (See Luke 1:37 NLT) With God, nothing is impossible.
Maybe, just maybe, we look at closed doors all wrong.
There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: ” when God closes one door he opens another.” We just tend to think that it is going to open immediately. Like, right when we want it. We pace and huff and get down in the dumps all while we are claiming to “trust” God. It’s much easier to tell someone else to have faith and wait on God. When we have something occurring in our own lives we see how difficult the waiting can be. But there truly is beauty and growth to be found in the waiting.
There IS beauty to be found in the waiting.
There is also beauty in the closed doors.
You see, when it seems as if no doors are swinging wide open for you and that no clear answers are coming your way, that’s when God is holding those doors shut so that you won’t walk through the wrong one.
Yes, HE gives us free will, but I truly believe that when we are HIS he gives us protection as well.
Thank God for the doors that don’t seem to be opening. Be still and know that HE is God and HE is sovereign and HIS ways are so much better.
When we jump ahead and try to pull the steering wheel out of his hands, we often cause a wreck.
Waiting is hard. I know. I’ve been in a season of waiting myself. I get it. This is for me as much as it is for you. As we wait, let’s be grateful. I’m going to start my gratitude list again. Joy is found in a grateful heart. Maybe you want to join me?
Just start somewhere. Giving Thanks is a command that’s repeated many times in the Bible. It’s not just there to make God feel better. I truly believe that it’s there to remind us that there’s beauty in being thankful and joy comes from a heart of thankfulness.
There are blessings to be found in closed doors and in the waiting.
Learning to be still & thankful at the same time.
“Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”
These hands have held, been held, worked, wiped tears, patted backs, rubbed headaches away… these hands have been folded in prayer, they’ve reached out to another, twiddled, anxiously moved, covered a mouth filled with laughter, rubbed a back to console.
These hands have written down feelings, held the hand of a dying loved one, held a newborn child straight from the womb. These hands have raised to God in worship, stretched wide in desperation, lifted heavy loads, disciplined out of love, made mistakes, and begged for forgiveness. These hands have loved and lost and hurt and been hurt.
These hands will continue to make a difference here and now and forever. These are hands of mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, wives, cousins, aunts, nieces, a grandmother, a widow, sinners, redeemed women, saved by grace through faith daughters of The King. These are mine and Momma’s hands.
There are many areas in life that I could apply this verse to. Many areas where I need to apply this verse. Here is what I’ve learned and finding this verse is a result of looking for an answer in His Word.
In life there are seasons and not just seasons of people. There are people that come and go and seasons that are high and low. There are people who stay. There are those who hurt us and who we hurt. Some accidentally, some on purpose. You learn that you can only fix you and you can only change your heart.
There are those who are like sandpaper and those who we mesh with. But we don’t get to choose who we should be kind hearted to… even when they hurt us. Then there are those who are oblivious to the fact that they pour salt in our wounds over and over. But we can’t live in a bitter state and rise above at the same time.
Bitter or Better. I remember Granny Shiver saying: “You can let it make you bitter or better.” when sharing about life issues. It’s always stuck with me. In the back of my mind. And praise God that His Word is always available to me. When I want to wallow and try to figure out why… I can just turn to the Word and find “why not” or why to not wallow in my feelings. Sometimes it takes longer than others. Sometimes it’s my last resort instead of first instinct. That’s real life.
There’s more to this thought of mine that I’ll be sharing here on my blog. Until then, maybe you needed this reminder, too.
People will let us down, but God NEVER will. Grace. He gives it to us abundantly.
The seasons and people in our life can grow us, if we choose to let them make us better and not bitter. I’m working on becoming better. It’s only possible with God.
Life will give you many twists and turns. The ride will sometimes be smooth and other times will be bumpy. You will face things that you never expected. You’ll learn that not everyone is who they appear. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll scream. You’ll stand up and stand firm. You will make mistakes. Lots of them. You’ll be shown mercy. Lots of it. God will be the one constant. He will be the only ONE who will never let you down. He’s the only ONE capable of that for anyone. You will face fears and you’ll face things that some will never know about. You’ll love big. You will be blessed so much. God will give you so many gifts. Life will reveal things that you never imagined. You will realize again and again that you are never the ONE that is in control. You will have moments of frustration. You will experience depression and anxiety. You will think it’s a secret to keep. You will speak up and be transparent. You will realize that life throws the twists and turns and that sometimes you will struggle. You’ll speak up and be bold. You will share pieces of your testimony at the right times. The times that God leads you to do so. You’ll share your struggles because you know the things you experience can help someone else. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll soar. You’ll fly. You will struggle with the deep thoughts and you’ll keep sharing. This is why you are here. Little girl. You keep going. Keep striving. Keep leaning. Keep standing. Your FATHER is always by your side.
I have written poetry since I was a child. I found this quote on Pinterest that explains what poetry is to me. I don’t know the author of this quote, but I love it.
” Poetry is what happens when your mind stops working,
I was disappointed when I realized how much student loan debt I would have if I began college this Fall to pursue a dream. See, I knew that I was supposed to pursue a degree in counseling. I just knew that it was finally going to become a realization. I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to burden my family with student loan debt at my age. I’d be in the nursing home before it would be profitable for us.
Fast forward a month. A certain ministry peaked my interest. After researching it I was struck with the fact that what I would be doing would be a form of counseling.
Fast forward a few more days.
My favorite day of the year was today. Special holiday? Birthday? Nope. It was my annual appointment at that place that all of us ladies just LOVE to go. {insert sarcastic laugh}
Not only was it my favorite day, but I had to miss the second week of my BSF (bible study fellowship) group! Ugh.
That waiting room (the second one that they take you to) was packed. I sat down at the back wall that allows me to face the entrance and other people. You know, to people watch.
This young girl came back from the third place we ladies get to go. The area where we get to stand fully clothed with all of our jewelry on and wait for the magic number to appear. She was alone. She was talking on her cell phone to friends.
I thought: “she’s talking on her phone and all of us are sitting here listening or pretending we were not listening.” Why in the world. People these days.
I began to listen. She was sitting on the seat right beside me. I couldn’t help it.
Then it struck me. She was serious when she said she was about to cry. She repeatedly said it. Among other things. She was alone.
I’m a Momma. It’s the best “job” I’ve ever been blessed with. My favorite job. I’m also a little older than I used to be and I hope a little wiser.
I was filling out my forms. Yes, we are so lucky that we get to fill out the same forms every single time. Do they lose them? Asking for a friend.
Now I’ll be the first to tell you that I have never heard God speak audibly. Like I haven’t heard an actual voice with my ears. Did you know that you can listen with your heart?
Then came that nudge. Could not ignore it. Meanwhile, everyone else can hear what’s going on and can tell she’s upset while looking over or not looking over their cell phones. (I’m guilty sometimes too.)
Today I purposely chose not to scroll through my phone and ignore my surroundings. (Don’t pat me on the back. I normally scroll.) I took my Sudoku book to keep me occupied and I worked on an advertisement for the business.
The voice I heard, the voice I always hear, is a whisper in my head and a stirring in my chest. It is a voice that I cannot ignore in good conscience.
God simply told me:
“Comfort Her”.
I thought about it a second… or two.
Instinctively, I reached over and rubbed her right arm. She just looked at me with tears in her eyes and stopped talking on the phone. I asked her name and asked how old she was. Just a baby herself. I stroked her arm while saying: “It’s gonna be okay. It’s all gonna be ok. This baby will be a blessing. You may not have been prepared for this and you may not have expected this, but God knew. And it’s going to be ok.”
That’s all I said. Then I went back to what I was doing. She went to the room to see the doctor. I never saw her again.
Y’all, I did not have those words prepared. You know, just in case this type of incident ever takes place. Nope. Sure didn’t.
Could have heard a pin drop in that room. I swear that either we were invisible or everyone else was blind or had earplugs in. I pray that I always pay attention to the opportunities around me where I can comfort and encourage others.
I’ve been that person that didn’t see. Oh what blessings I must have missed along the way.
This is NOT about me at all. Whatever you take from this blog post, remember that this message is not about ME. It’s about God. It’s a message about the comfort that he gives us. The comfort that God gives us through the obedience of others.
I’m so thankful for the people in my life that have been obedient and brought me His comfort.
She was all alone. In a crowded room. All alone and terrified.
The instructions were simple.
COMFORT HER
Just two words. No more, no less.
God is The God of Comfort.
How does he comfort us?
Through the obedience of His people. Through the hugs, the prayers, the smiles, the words of wisdom. So many ways. He comforts us. And HE cares! So much so that he will whisper little commands to us. Commands that are meant for bringing HIM GLORY.
There are many times in my life that He has asked me to say or do something that at times seemed so tiny to me. But when I obey… WHEN I obey. I don’t always obey or listen. But when I do, I realize the reason.
Listen with your heart. We all have fallen short. We all still fall short. BUT God. But Grace. But…COMFORT HER.
At the same time, God comforted me. Again.
He reminded me. Again. You don’t need a degree to love people. You don’t need a degree to care. You don’t need a degree to counsel and encourage people. You just need to open your eyes and listen with your heart and use your gifts wherever I place you.
Open your eyes. Listen with your heart. Use your gifts wherever God places you.
I pray that you never feel alone. I pray that you know the love of God. I pray that you use your gifts wherever God places you.
