Who Do I Believe 

I wrote a post that I haven’t published yet. It’s not finished. Maybe it’s not even supposed to be published. Maybe it’s just for me. It’s about grief.

I do want to share a little about it. The thing about grief is… You can get so lost in it that you can’t see straight. You can feel so alone. Lonely in your grief.

And if you stay in that place. That stuck place. You start believing the lie that you are alone. Lonely. Nobody gets it. 

If you aren’t careful, you can do like I’ve done. You can get so wrapped up in your “funk” that you start withdrawing and then you justify it. You can even call it “rest”. 

You might be saying: “You are in a funk? I wouldn’t have known. You seem so happy.”

And I am joyful. To be joyful is better than to be happy. I’m joyful because I have a relationship with Jesus. I’m joy filled because of Jesus in me. But that doesn’t mean that I am never sad.

My problem was that I was believing the lie that I was alone in my sadness. I kept telling myself those lies.  And then, during the message at church, when my Pastor was speaking truth about when God went to The garden of Eden after Adam and Eve had sinned. The part after God says: “Where are you?”. The second thing God said was : “Who told you that?” {see Genesis 3:9-11}

So who told me that? That lie that I was alone in my grief over my father’s death. Who told me that? Well, it definitely wasn’t my Savior. So today when I felt the whisper in my soul.. That still small voice said: “You’re not alone.”

Did I know that? Sure I did. But did I act like I believed it? Not at all. I was too caught up in self. I listened to the wrong voice. I listened to self and self pity. 

I was so withdrawn that I didn’t want to be around anyone. Not anyone that I had to talk with. I didn’t want to serve anymore. I didn’t want to do a thing but what I wanted to do. 

Some days were better than others. But I kept telling myself that nobody understands and therefore I’m alone. Because that’s what grief can do to a person. And truly, that’s exactly where satan wants us to stay. In the desolate places. The dry places. The withdrawn and lonely places.

And listen. This is all the while that I’m still having my daily time with Jesus. This is still while I’m walking close with God. Look how close Adam and Eve walked with God. Yet they still listened to lies from the enemy. 

It happens. It’s what we do with it that makes the difference. 

I choose to share a piece of my grief story with you because my hope is that you will see that somebody gets it. In fact, God gets it. You are not alone. You can come out of your funk. 

I am not sharing for pity. I’m sharing because I want to to know that you matter. Your hurt matters. Your grief matters. And you are not alone if you know Jesus as Lord and Savior. If you believe otherwise then who are you listening to? Self? 

SCRIPTURE TO SOAK IN:

“For the Lord will not forsake his people; he will not abandon his heritage;” ~Psalm‬ ‭94:14‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” ~‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭31:6‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” ~‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Until next time.

Striving to Shine,

Heather

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