Why Does It Even Matter?



Maybe you’ve heard of Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages. The first time I heard of it, my husband and I were on a church couples retreat. Wow, it was eye-opening. Basically, I learned what my husband’s and my own love languages were. {You know, like what makes you feel loved by your husband/wife.}

Acts of Service
Words of affirmation
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch

Here is the website that you can go to at your convenience and take the quiz…

It says to give yourself 15-20 minutes to take it. May not take you that long..

My primary love language is WORDS OF AFFIRMATION . Makes sense.. Because even though it shouldn’t matter, words of affirmation ARE very important to me. I hate to admit that.. Let’s be real clear though..I am not talking about empty words or words that you know are not sincere..I’m not talking about flattery..

I love to GIVE them and yes, it makes me feel good to receive them.

It’s one of the reasons why writing words are important to me. WORDS.

It’s one of the reasons that hearing that I’ve done a good job at something makes me feel good.


It’s one of the reasons that I’m compelled to encourage.


Why does it even matter, though? Why does it hurt sometimes?

Isn’t God enough? (YES)

Why is it important that I “hear” the words of mere man?

I don’t know the answer to all of those questions. I do know this.. One of my spiritual gifts is encouragement. And because words of affirmation mean a lot to me, I “love” others in this same language. Or, I try to. I still fail. I do need to listen more and talk less.

So, maybe my love language goes along with my gifts. WE ALL HAVE A SPIRITUAL GIFT if we are authentic believers in Christ Jesus. He didn’t skip over you. But, that’s another topic for another blog post on another day.

I really do believe that by knowing your spouse’s and even children’s and friends love languages, that you are learning how to make the ones you love actually “feel loved” by you.Makes life a lot easier and helps you to understand why you are the way you are and why others are the way that they are. Helps you to tune in to the needs of others. Doesn’t mean that you have to walk on eggshells, but it will make you aware. Who doesn’t want to feel loved? We all do…

Yet, we must remember that GOD is enough. GOD IS LOVE. HE really IS enough for me. Abundance of WORDS or a lack of WORDS is NOT where my JOY is found. Sure, they make me feel loved ( when they are sincere)…and sometimes happy..But, I don’t depend on them to bring me the JOY that can only be found in HIM.

Happiness and JOY are not the same.. Happiness is based on circumstances but Joy is based on the LORD. Happiness is like exchanging gifts and having fun at Christmastime..Joy is really GETTING and knowing what Christmas is all about. Happiness is if the line is short in front of you and JOY is finding peace even in a long line of waiting. Happiness is not falling in a mud puddle and JOY is falling in it and brushing yourself off and not letting it ruin your day.



Philippians 4:19 ~ And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.


Even if others aren’t meeting our love language needs..God can and does! God never changes. He’s the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. People are fickle. People DO change. But, GOD NEVER DOES.


Hebrews 13:8 (NIV) ~ Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.



God created us to be relational. Relational with HIM first and then relational with others. To do this, we have to know how to relate to others.

Ecclesiastes 4:9,10 ~ Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!


So…if you want to..take the quiz.. You can even comment on here and let me know what you discovered about yourself! I would love to hear from you!



                 UNTIL NEXT TIME,

2 Replies to “Why Does It Even Matter?”

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